Wednesday morning I published my blog post about having tentative hope in 2021 and setting bigger overarching intentions for the year. Wednesday afternoon there was a riot and attempted coup at the Capitol Building in Washington D.C. As I watched the news and scrolled through social media, I felt angry, frustrated, helpless and overwhelmed. Both because of the blatant disregard for our democracy by these so-called ‘patriots’ being fueled by our president AND at the stark discrepancy at how law enforcement showed up vs how they showed up for the planned BLM protest.

Then I started seeing people equate the attempted coup with the protests from last summer. Even without talking about the police response, these events are light years away from each other. On one hand, you have a group of people who have been continuously oppressed by systems that are part of the DNA of America who are marching because they see their brothers and sisters unjustly dying every day. On the other hand you have a privileged group (white males) who can’t accept that they didn’t get their way in a free and fair election and are trying to force an overthrow of our democracy. THESE ARE NOT THE SAME! The actions that happened on Wednesday is not “just as bad” as the protests…they are WAY WORSE.

As I continue to process everything that has happened and my reactions to it, I realize that I want to do more than I have been. I’ve spent a lot of time reading about white supremacy and anti-racism, but I haven’t taken much action. Wednesday reinforced for me that while I’m sitting here reading and learning…the other side is taking action. And I can’t sit in idle complicity anymore.

Every intention that I had set for the year was internally focused. Being present, focusing on the essential, and staying connected. But what about taking action and making an impact? I don’t know specifically what that will look like yet, but I want to speak my intention into existence today.

I know one thing I want to do is to use my voice more. I’m pretty candid about my feelings with my close friends and family. Most of them have sat through a rant or two of mine. But I always hesitate to put those thoughts into writing – whether on this blog or on social media. I want to change that this year and be more courageous about speaking up in uncomfortable situations.

In addition to speaking up more I will be researching places and organizations to give to financially as well as volunteering my time. I’m not exactly sure what other directions this will take, but I know I want to do more. I want to activate my inner social justice warrior this year and try to make a difference.