Month: October 2021

Friday Five Things 10/29

~ kofriedery ~ Leave a comment

“Happiness never decreases by being shared.” – Gautama Buddha

This was one of those weeks that I can’t categorize as wholly “good” or “bad” because it was full of ups and downs. I have been making myself get out of the house more often and be social which has been great, but it creates a sharper contrast of how alone I really am most of the time. I am also acutely feeling the changing of the seasons and getting nervous about not being able to spend as much time outside this winter, so I just need to be intentional about it, right? Anyway…there were still some very bright spots to my week despite the sun going down so early.

  1. New window seat for cats. If you have pets, you know the feeling of buying something you are sure they are going to love, only for them to fully ignore it and never use it. Both of our cats love sitting in the window, but our window sills aren’t very wide. So I saw a cat bed that is basically an extension of the window sill. I bought it and for almost a week the cats were leaping over it to get to the tiny portion of the original window sill that was still exposed. So I figured it was a failure. Then all of a sudden this week Buzz has figured out that if he uses the new window seat he can lay down and look out the window. So now he spends a couple hours in the morning and evenings enjoying his new spot. As I type this he is just taking a little snooze there and it makes me so happy!
  2. Writing coach. A couple months ago at a silent auction I bid on a session with a writing coach and I won it. So this week I actually met with her and she was encouraging, insightful, and delightful. She gave me some great tips to overcome some mental challenges I’ve been having and it was also great just talking with another writer for a bit. I probably can’t afford to meet with her super regularly, but hoping to get a few more one-on-one sessions as I continue working through my first draft.
  3. Walks with Bama. Every day Bama and I walk for at least 1 mile around the neighborhood. I haven’t been hiking much recently, but these walks definitely fill that same need I have for daily movement and spending time outside. We skipped our walk on Wednesday because Bama wasn’t feeling well and we were both up quite a bit the night before. And while she snoozed on the couch, I decided not to go for a walk by myself because it was really windy. Man! I didn’t realize how important those walks are for my mental well being until I skipped that one and just felt off all day. So Thursday I made it a priority to go and I’m hoping we can (mostly) keep up the practice for the rest of the fall and into the winter months.
  4. Cozy socks. Something happened over the last couple years and I feel like all my friends started getting into cozy socks in their late-thirties, myself included. Tall thick warm socks that you can pull up over the cuff of your sweatpants or leggings. It’s not terribly fashionable, but man it’s comfy. I treated myself to a six pack of really soft ones from Costco recently and I wore the heck out of them this past week as it’s been chilly in the mornings. It’s like we’re all turning into Dumbledore (IYKYK).
  5. Hunger Games movies. Even though there are a million and two new shows and movies on my To Watch list, this week I decided to start the Hunger Games movies even though I’ve already seen them at least a couple times each. I kind of had forgotten how good they are! Very much enjoying the rewatch.

Friday Five Things 10/22

~ kofriedery ~ Leave a comment

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” – J.R.R. Tolkien

This week hasn’t felt very productive and that makes me antsy. But this morning I read an instagram post from a friend who wrote that when she starts feeling like her worth is tied to her work, she steps back and re-states her personal definition of success. After doing that for myself I realized that while I haven’t felt “productive,” I have actually had a really successful week. And here’s why…

  1. Visiting with a close friend. Over the summer, a friend and I would take weekly walks on Monday mornings. We had to stop when she went back to work (she’s a teacher). So I see her less frequently now and we have to be intentional about scheduling time. Last night I was able to go to her house and just sit and chat for a couple hours. It was lovely.
  2. Snuggling with my pets. With the weather getting colder, everyone in the house is feeling a lot snugglier than usual. So pretty much any time I sit on the couch I end up with a dog next to me or a cat in my lap. Loving these little beasts and having them love me in return feels like I’m doing life right.
  3. Writing. At this point it is very unlikely that I will hit my goal of 90,000 words written by the end of the year, which feels like a failure. However, I’ve recently been going back and rewriting parts of the beginning of the book that are more in line with where I see things going and it’s making my writing sessions much more successful in terms of creative flow. In this case, letting go of my quantitative goal is leading to better quality.
  4. Morning routine. While I might never have two mornings that look exactly the same, this week I’ve been able to get the each of following things done every morning – meditate, journal, eat breakfast, walk the dog, shower, get dressed. Sometimes I also write in the morning, one day I had a doctor’s appt, and some mornings I linger a little longer on the couch with my second cup of coffee. So my routine is less a rigid timeline and more a series of activities that make me feel grounded and ready for the rest of the day.
  5. Boring adult stuff. The past couple weeks I done a few things that aren’t really the “spark joy” kinds of activities but that I know are going to benefit me long term. Last week I got a root canal on a damaged front tooth that has been discolored for many years. They did internal bleaching and now it looks like nothing every happened! Don’t know why I didn’t do it years ago but glad to have it done now. I also did some work to consolidate some old retirement and HSA accounts. Very excited to have it all in one place and not have to use the Forgot Username/Password button on multiple sites to keep track of things! And last but not least…after a few months of our trash can lid being broken, I finally ordered a new one and it’s getting swapped out today! Woohoo!

Friday Five Things 10/15

~ kofriedery ~ Leave a comment

“In the entire circle of the year there are no days so delightful as those of a fine October.” – Alexander Smith

Can you believe it’s already halfway through October? Maybe because it’s only just now really feeling like fall around here, with snow starting to show up on the forecast, that it hasn’t quite seemed like October. I guess I’d better start thinking about what to get for the 5 or so trick or treaters we get every year…

  1. Harry Legged Jerry. Last week I mentioned the Halloween decorations in the neighborhood where I walk Bama. Over the weekend I passed a family who were in the process of putting out their decorations. And I overheard their daughter yell out to her friends next door that they had named their spider Hairy Legged Jerry. Jerry wasn’t out yet when I passed by, but I did get to see him the next day. He’s a giant fuzzy purple spiders with big googly eyes and I love him. So now every day we get to walk by and say hi to Hairy Legged Jerry.
  2. Cactus Friends. An old friend of mine called me her cactus friend this week and while I can be prickly at times, that’s not what she meant. She was describing how we can go months, maybe even years, without talking to each other or putting energy into maintaining our friendship. But then when we do get back in touch we’re just as healthy and strong as ever. We started texting this week after she sent me a funny headline she found and I sent her one back that I had seen last week (and at the time had actually planned to send it to her!) We caught up a bit on life and vowed to keep in better touch. And I really hope we will. But I also feel confident that if things do fall off again, we can always pick back up where we left them.
  3. Butternut Squash Mac and Cheese. Guys, this might have been my favorite mac and cheese that I’ve ever made. The squash adds flavor but it isn’t overpowering. I made a few swaps/changes because I rarely ever can just make a recipe straight! First of all, I read through the comments ahead of time and ended up doubling the amount of pasta. I’d say either do that or cut everything else in half because it makes a lot of sauce! Other changes: -Added fresh rosemary with the sage -Used heavy cream and 2% milk (we didn’t have half and half and whole milk!) -8oz of cheddar cheese instead of 10oz because I didn’t check the size of the block when I bought it… -made my own purée with a bag of frozen squash -Stirred in some shredded chicken at the end because I had some left over. Yes, that’s a lot of changes, but no I don’t think it materially made a difference to how good this recipe is! Well…except maybe the using heavy cream… Anyway, make it and enjoy!
  4. James Bond. I went to see the new James Bond movie, No Time to Die, this week and really enjoyed it! It’s a long one, so bring snacks! I would also recommend watching at least the most recent Bond movie before this one as there are plot points mentioned from it. It won’t ruin the movie if you don’t, but I wish I had just so I was a little faster on the uptake with a few conversations between characters.
  5. Essie nail polish in Rocky Rose. I just repainted my nails with this color for a second week in a row and I’m so in love with it. It’s the perfect fall color if you lean more towards neutral/nude colors. It’s like a rosy terracotta color and it’s just so pretty.

Friday Five Things 10/8

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“Our heads are round so thought can change direction.” – Francis Picabia

It was a pretty good week here! Fall feels in full swing here, I’ve had to wear a jacket or vest for my morning walks with Bama and the leaves are changing in our neighborhood. Some neighbors have put out elaborate Halloween decorations and Bama tends to give those houses a very wide berth. Hope you are all having a good October so far!

  1. Rewrites on my novel. My original plan was to finish a complete first draft before I went back to the beginning to make changes, but I was stalling out on how to finish up the story because I changed my mind about a few key things in the plot. So instead of continuing to write forward, I went back and started rewrites already. And I’m so glad I adjusted my plan! Making these changes is really sparking creativity about the story and I’m having a lot of fun writing right now.
  2. Virgin River. Okay, so I’m late to the party on this one. A lot of people I know watched it at the beginning of the pandemic shut down. But I finally decided to give it a shot! If you don’t know, it’s a drama/soapy-type show on Netflix. It’s set in a small town in northern California and full of all the small town characters tropes you would expect. The cranky older doctor, the handsome but troubled bar owner, the gossipy town matriarch, and, of course, the new girl in town. Here’s the deal, it’s not a good show. Like, objectively it isn’t great writing, great acting, anything like that. But it’s so easy to watch especially if you are doing something else like folding clothes, cooking, or doing a puzzle. It’s the same kind of mom-watching-All-My-Children-while-ironing vibes that a lot of us grew up with.
  3. Disney planning. We are going to Disney World in the spring and I am so excited! I am one of those people who loves researching and planning ahead of a trip almost as much as I enjoy going on the actual vacation. I’ve been following Disney Instagrammers, watching YouTube videos, and reading blogs so we can make the best of our time in the most magical place on earth!
  4. Being social. I met up with a couple friends on Tuesday to grab margaritas and Mexican food. We had a lot of fun chatting and laughing and catching up. I’ve been making a concerted effort to get out of the house and be more social. It always seems daunting to me at first but I always have so much fun.
  5. Soup season! I really love soup and would make it year round, but our kitchen gets so warm with the stove on for awhile so I usually skip the homemade soup in the summer. Now that the evenings are getting cooler, I’m back to soup making! I made a delicious butternut squash soup the other day (kinda followed this recipe but included carrots and added a little heavy cream at the end.) I had enough for two nights of dinner and then some, so I froze it in our big ice cube tray (like this). If what we had didn’t work well enough, I would get some of these souper cubes. Makes freezing thawing the right portion so much easier!

September Book Report

~ kofriedery ~ Leave a comment

“Reading is a way for me to expand my mind, open my eyes, and fill up my heart.” – Oprah Winfrey

Then She was Gone by Lisa Jewell – A mother copes with the disappearance of her daughter several years prior, the dissolution of her marriage, and her struggle to maintain good relations with her other children. One day a stranger walks into her life and she opens herself up to loving him and his daughter, who eerily reminds her of her lost child. This was a twisty thriller and super engaging to read. However, I saw the twist coming and wasn’t super surprised by any of the reveals, so keep that in mind if you hate not being surprised by surprised endings. Anyway, I’d recommend this if you’re looking for a quick weekend read for a cozy fall weekend!

Such a Fun Age by Kiley Reid – This book has a really promising premise of exploring many aspects of racism (harassment from police, micro aggressions, fetishism, performative white allyship, etc…) I came into it with an open mind, but I did not end up finishing this book. I really tried and read about halfway through but it was just taking me so long and I wasn’t excited to pick it up again after setting it down. The storyline wasn’t compelling to me and one of the main characters was just exhausting. She was (purposely) unlikeable but I my opinion she had no redeeming qualities. I assume this character was supposed to help people examine their white privilege and reflect on their internal intentions, but there was no nuance to the character that allowed me to relate to her. So it was easy to just put her in the villain category without my own world view feeling challenged. I usually don’t like to quit books, but this one just didn’t click for me.

People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry – Okay, this book was really cute! The main character is a travel writer who has become estranged from her best friend from college. She invites him to join her on a The characters were a little overly quirky and some events were a little too convenient, but it worked for this book and this genre. Really a perfect vacation read, it was pure confection and serotonin. Highly recommend if you are looking for a quick, fun and easy romcom read.

Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot – I feel a little late to the party, I think everyone I know read the book several years ago when it was first published. But WOW. I knew a bit of the story of Henrietta Lacks and how her cells were taken without her consent. How they kept growing outside of her body and were used for experiments that led to incredible medical breakthroughs. But I really appreciated how much research the author did into who Henrietta was, how she was loved by her community and family, and how she is remembered by those who knew her. Her personal story was intertwined with the story of her cells and layered into that was a lot of commentary on inequality of healthcare for people who are poor and/or Black. And then you are left with the philosophical question of whether it is ethical to use a sample of someone’s tissues without their consent if the intention is progress in medical research. It was a surprisingly easy read for a book so packed with history, politics, social and ethical commentary. Highly highly recommend. Anyone and everyone should read this book. I hope it’s found it’s way onto high school curriculums as well!

The Magic of Found Objects by Maddie Dawson – Another quick, fun, easy read. The main character is a single woman in her late thirties living in New York City. After a year of leaning into online dating and having zero success, her best friend proposes an unconventional marriage, one without romantic love. He argues that none of their friends who married for love have been completely happy or stayed together, so why not marry your platonic best friend? This leads our main character to question her belief in love and examine her parents failed marriage a little closer. This book was full of really interesting characters and the story moved pretty quickly. As with most romcoms, there are some all-too-convenient plot points, but it’s all in good fun. Another feel-good vacation or weekend recommendation.

Of Women and Salt by Gabriela Garcia – OMG. I can’t remember the last time I read a book as poetic and heart-breakingly beautiful as this one. The book centers around the women in a Cuban/Cuban-American family, what they fight for, and the struggles they face. Each chapter is an up close snapshot of life and jumps between characters and through time. If you struggle with following books like that, this might not be for you. But also, you can just step back and take them as short stories or vignettes without trying too hard to follow the timeline and I think it would still be just as impactful. Content warnings for drug use/addiction, sexual assault, and other violence. I would recommend this, especially if you’ve not taken time to consider the female immigrant experience. While I’ve read news stories, this was fairly eye-opening and impactful to me in the way that sometimes only a fictional account can be.

Friday Five Things 10/1

~ kofriedery ~ Leave a comment

“I make a point to appreciate all the little things in my life. I go out and smell the air after a good, hard rain. These small actions help remind me that there are so many great, glorious pieces of good in the world.” – Dolly Parton

Happy October everyone! Some of us are getting excited about Halloween, others are already planning and decorating for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and others are just plain happy to be done with the hot hot weather (that’s me 🙋‍♀️). I hope whatever it is about this time of year that brings you joy, that you receive it in abundance.

  1. Propagating houseplants. This week I did a bit of pruning on some of my houseplants and I now have a whole little army of cuttings that I’m attempting to propagate. Most likely, not all of them will take to it. But if I get one or two out of the bunch I’ll be happy! I never ever thought I’d turn into such a plant lady, but here I am!
  2. Mums. Speaking of being a plant lady, I bought mums this week! We were at Home Depot for a few other things and I saw they had some really healthy looking mums and I couldn’t resist. I bought two HUGE planters of multicolored mums and I am so excited for them to bloom! It also prompted me to finally get rid of my summer hanging baskets that have been dead for a few weeks.
  3. Writing desk. We have a room in the house that somewhat functions as an office. I mean, it has a desk, a printer, and some file cabinets. But it’s also where the snake and lizard live…so it’s hot with their heat lamps on. And it’s cut off from the rest of the house. It was great when I was working full time and on conference calls constantly because I could shut the door. But now that I’m doing something different, I like to work in our more open living area. After a year of sitting on the couch to write, I decided last week to get a small desk. Tyler helped me pick one out that would look good and wouldn’t be too large and clunky in the space. Target was having a sale on desks and then we found the perfect chairs at our local Habitat for Humanity Restore. Altogether I spent less than $150 for a desk and two chairs! I’m really pleased with my new setup and I’ve spent a few hours sitting here every day since it put it together. Here’s the desk (though not on sale anymore). It was pretty straightforward assembly and it feels really sturdy, but doesn’t take up too much space in the room.
  4. Crossword puzzles. This week I signed up for a free trial of the New York Times crossword puzzle app and I’ve been having a great time doing puzzles in my spare time. In fact, I’ve stayed up way too late on a couple of nights working on a crossword! I don’t think I’m going to pay for the full trial just because the NYT puzzles are pretty difficult for me still. So I’ll probably buy a book at the store to get back into the practice of doing them regularly at a more beginner/intermediate level to start. I do not consider myself competitive with other people at all, but I am super competitive with myself when it comes to trivia or puzzles of any kind, if that makes sense. I feel so accomplished when I’m able to get an answer quickly!
  5. Autumn! I mentioned it earlier, but I love this season so much. The end of summer kind of drags on for me a bit and I don’t like really hot weather. So as soon as things start to cool down my mood gets such a big boost. And my energy levels too! It doesn’t last forever, I know, but I love the leaves changing and pumpkins everywhere and pulling out my favorite sweaters and scarves. Cozy season for sure!