joy

Friday Five Things 10/29

~ kofriedery ~ Leave a comment

“Happiness never decreases by being shared.” – Gautama Buddha

This was one of those weeks that I can’t categorize as wholly “good” or “bad” because it was full of ups and downs. I have been making myself get out of the house more often and be social which has been great, but it creates a sharper contrast of how alone I really am most of the time. I am also acutely feeling the changing of the seasons and getting nervous about not being able to spend as much time outside this winter, so I just need to be intentional about it, right? Anyway…there were still some very bright spots to my week despite the sun going down so early.

  1. New window seat for cats. If you have pets, you know the feeling of buying something you are sure they are going to love, only for them to fully ignore it and never use it. Both of our cats love sitting in the window, but our window sills aren’t very wide. So I saw a cat bed that is basically an extension of the window sill. I bought it and for almost a week the cats were leaping over it to get to the tiny portion of the original window sill that was still exposed. So I figured it was a failure. Then all of a sudden this week Buzz has figured out that if he uses the new window seat he can lay down and look out the window. So now he spends a couple hours in the morning and evenings enjoying his new spot. As I type this he is just taking a little snooze there and it makes me so happy!
  2. Writing coach. A couple months ago at a silent auction I bid on a session with a writing coach and I won it. So this week I actually met with her and she was encouraging, insightful, and delightful. She gave me some great tips to overcome some mental challenges I’ve been having and it was also great just talking with another writer for a bit. I probably can’t afford to meet with her super regularly, but hoping to get a few more one-on-one sessions as I continue working through my first draft.
  3. Walks with Bama. Every day Bama and I walk for at least 1 mile around the neighborhood. I haven’t been hiking much recently, but these walks definitely fill that same need I have for daily movement and spending time outside. We skipped our walk on Wednesday because Bama wasn’t feeling well and we were both up quite a bit the night before. And while she snoozed on the couch, I decided not to go for a walk by myself because it was really windy. Man! I didn’t realize how important those walks are for my mental well being until I skipped that one and just felt off all day. So Thursday I made it a priority to go and I’m hoping we can (mostly) keep up the practice for the rest of the fall and into the winter months.
  4. Cozy socks. Something happened over the last couple years and I feel like all my friends started getting into cozy socks in their late-thirties, myself included. Tall thick warm socks that you can pull up over the cuff of your sweatpants or leggings. It’s not terribly fashionable, but man it’s comfy. I treated myself to a six pack of really soft ones from Costco recently and I wore the heck out of them this past week as it’s been chilly in the mornings. It’s like we’re all turning into Dumbledore (IYKYK).
  5. Hunger Games movies. Even though there are a million and two new shows and movies on my To Watch list, this week I decided to start the Hunger Games movies even though I’ve already seen them at least a couple times each. I kind of had forgotten how good they are! Very much enjoying the rewatch.

Friday Five Things 10/22

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“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” – J.R.R. Tolkien

This week hasn’t felt very productive and that makes me antsy. But this morning I read an instagram post from a friend who wrote that when she starts feeling like her worth is tied to her work, she steps back and re-states her personal definition of success. After doing that for myself I realized that while I haven’t felt “productive,” I have actually had a really successful week. And here’s why…

  1. Visiting with a close friend. Over the summer, a friend and I would take weekly walks on Monday mornings. We had to stop when she went back to work (she’s a teacher). So I see her less frequently now and we have to be intentional about scheduling time. Last night I was able to go to her house and just sit and chat for a couple hours. It was lovely.
  2. Snuggling with my pets. With the weather getting colder, everyone in the house is feeling a lot snugglier than usual. So pretty much any time I sit on the couch I end up with a dog next to me or a cat in my lap. Loving these little beasts and having them love me in return feels like I’m doing life right.
  3. Writing. At this point it is very unlikely that I will hit my goal of 90,000 words written by the end of the year, which feels like a failure. However, I’ve recently been going back and rewriting parts of the beginning of the book that are more in line with where I see things going and it’s making my writing sessions much more successful in terms of creative flow. In this case, letting go of my quantitative goal is leading to better quality.
  4. Morning routine. While I might never have two mornings that look exactly the same, this week I’ve been able to get the each of following things done every morning – meditate, journal, eat breakfast, walk the dog, shower, get dressed. Sometimes I also write in the morning, one day I had a doctor’s appt, and some mornings I linger a little longer on the couch with my second cup of coffee. So my routine is less a rigid timeline and more a series of activities that make me feel grounded and ready for the rest of the day.
  5. Boring adult stuff. The past couple weeks I done a few things that aren’t really the “spark joy” kinds of activities but that I know are going to benefit me long term. Last week I got a root canal on a damaged front tooth that has been discolored for many years. They did internal bleaching and now it looks like nothing every happened! Don’t know why I didn’t do it years ago but glad to have it done now. I also did some work to consolidate some old retirement and HSA accounts. Very excited to have it all in one place and not have to use the Forgot Username/Password button on multiple sites to keep track of things! And last but not least…after a few months of our trash can lid being broken, I finally ordered a new one and it’s getting swapped out today! Woohoo!

Friday Five Things 9/24

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“Not what we have but what we enjoy constitutes our abundance.” – Jean Antoine Petit-Senn

First of all, this has been one of those weeks where I’ve lost track of what day it is…pretty much every day. I only knew today because my phone alarm went off to remind me to take the trash out to the curb for pickup! Anyway, it’s been a pretty good week and, like usual, I’m happy to be here sharing my thoughts with you.

  1. Freedom to adjust priorities. If there was a theme to this week it would be adjusting priorities. I’ve had a lot of things come up that have gotten in the way of my writing or my gardening or any number of other things on my weekly to-do list. But I remember someone once making the comment that we should change our perspectives from “I don’t have time to do xyz” to “Xyz isn’t a priority for me right now.” And to see how that feels. For example, this week writing has not been a priority and I’m okay with that. This month putting money into the “vacation” bucket hasn’t been a priority because of various other things and I’m okay with that. What doesn’t feel okay is to say that my health isn’t a priority. Or my family isn’t a priority. Or taking care of my animals isn’t a priority. So things had to adjust and rearrange this week and guess what…probably next week my priorities will look a little different!
  2. Getting outside every day. Speaking of priorities! I did not make getting outside every day a priority in August and I think I suffered for it. While I haven’t been able to hike as much recently as I’d prefer, I have been taking the dog on daily walks around the neighborhood and I think we are both benefiting from the routine of it. Getting outside before I dive into whatever else needs to be done helps me clear my mind and start things off on the right foot.
  3. Meditation. Something else that I decided to make a priority this week was doing short little meditations when I started to feel like things were going off the rails. Anywhere from two to five minutes of focusing on my breathing and clearing my mind. I do a visualization of a big black hole in front of me and any thought that comes into my mind while I’m meditating gets thrown into the black hole. Need to put away laundry? Not now, into the black hole it goes. Worried that I had too much sugar last night? Who cares, into the black hole. Getting overwhelmed with my ambitious writing goals? BLACK HOLE IT!!!! Somehow it just works for me, once something goes into the black hole it doesn’t come back until the meditation is finished. Also, I’m always amazed at how many thoughts can pop into my head in the span of two minutes!!
  4. Tackling home projects. Today I installed a new utility sink in our laundry room all by myself! Well…Tyler helped me troubleshoot an issue and even ran out to the hardware store to grab the right connection to solve the problem. But I was the one who put everything together from assembling to sink to connecting the water and the drain. I plumbed! I also understand why plumbers charge so much money! But I did it and now I have a functioning sink. Which (hopefully means) no more handwashing large items in the bathtub. Or rinsing out paint brushes in my bathroom! Love that accomplished feeling!
  5. Matt Amodio. If you watch Jeopardy, you know that Matt is having an awesome run of it right now! I don’t know what it is, but I’m enjoying watching him so much. He seems really humble and down to earth. I also feel like he is genuinely surprised and delighted each time he wins. Go Matt Go!!

Friday Five Things 9/17

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“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” – Napoleon Hill

Last night I learned that an old coworker and dear friend died this week after a long battle with cancer. She was the kindest and sweetest soul, but could also be incredibly feisty. I learned a lot about what it means to set personal boundaries and advocate for myself at work from her. I hadn’t seen her or spoken to her in a few years but I miss her like it was just yesterday that we were having dinner together. Squeeze your loved ones tight and remind them you love them. And in the midst of it all, don’t forget to find joy also.

  1. Drinks with a friend. This week I was running errands south of Denver and decided to see if a friend was available to grab a drink. Then what started as a planned one hour happy hour turned into almost four hours of sharing, reminiscing, and laughing. It was very much needed for my sanity! I spend most of my time alone at home talking to the cats and dog, so it was good to be around people.
  2. Applying for jobs. I have been thinking about getting back to work part-time for a few months and this week I finally pulled the trigger on applying to a couple! TBD if anything works out, but it feels good to be acting on it. Would love to start working with people and feeling like I’m contributing to society again.
  3. Cooler weather. It’s finally feeling (a little bit) like fall! The afternoons are still pretty hot, but the mornings are cool enough to wear a jacket. This morning I had an early appointment for my car and I had to pull a fleece on over my t-shirt! No leaves changing around me yet, but I think next week I’ll get some mums for my front stoop.
  4. Football! I know I mentioned going to a college football game a couple weeks ago, but I’m also so happy that now my Saturdays and Sundays are full of the familiar sounds of football on the tv. It’s rare that I sit still and just watch a whole game, but I love having it on in the background while I’m writing or cleaning or cooking. It’s a cozy and comforting sound to me.
  5. Booksmart. I know I’m a couple years late to the party on this one, but I recently watched the movie Booksmart and omg, I loved it. It is rated R with a lot of F-bombs and sex-references and drug use…but it was really a heartwarming movie about two best friends just trying to have fun and support each other! The premise is that these two girls only focused on schoolwork and didn’t have any “fun” but then they realize they could have been doing both and try to cram four years worth of fun into the night before high school graduation. It was really reminiscent of Can’t Hardly Wait in a way. I laughed, I cringed, and I cried.

Friday Five Things 7/30

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“It is a happy talent to know how to play.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Earlier this week I attended an Olympics themed birthday party that was so fun and really well executed. I think it was my first party in a very long time and I wasn’t super great with party-type situations before staying locked in my house for a year and a half. I had some pre-party social anxiety but it eventually faded when I got there and remembered how to play and have fun with other people. Over all, it was a great reminder to be playful and not take things too seriously!

  1. Olympics! I’m not really a fanatic about the Olympics but it’s always fun to watch a few competitions when they’re airing. I love hearing to how excited the commentators get during close races and unexpected outcomes, due to many of them being former athletes in those events.
  2. The neighbor’s kitten. My neighbors were out of town for a few days this week and they asked me to stop by to feed and check in on their two cats. They have a very sweet black long haired cat and a new little orange kitten who is a firecracker! Both cats have been very friendly even though I’m a stranger to them. The kitten has the scratchiest little voice when he meows and he purrs like a diesel engine.
  3. New houseplants. I stopped by our local garden center to pick up some self-watering devices to help a few of my outdoors plants get through the near 100 degree temps this week. And while I was there I allowed myself to buy two new houseplants! I potted them last night and also repotted a few of my other plants. While doing so I discovered that my snake plant had propagated itself three times in it’s original plant so I split off the babies and I now have four snake plants! When I was younger I tried to keep plants alive and just never could do it. Now that I’m older and pay more attention to things in my house, taking care of my green babies has brought me so much joy!
  4. Cutting back on social media. Over the past year my social media consumption has gotten a bit out of control. So on Tuesday I decided to delete Facebook and Instagram off of my devices. Not having them easily accessible has prevented me from mindlessly scrolling for a few days. I’m not sure how long I’ll keep them deleted, but even just a few days away has felt really good and freeing.
  5. Books. I got back on track with my goal to finish five books this month! I read some good ones and I’ll have my book report up early next week with my reviews and recommendations.

Friday Five Things 7/23

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“To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts.” – Henry David Thoreau

I think the quote above is going to mean something different for everyone. For me, it is getting outside to move my body, mindfulness in gratitude, and checking things off my to-do list! What is it that you can do for yourself to affect the quality of your day?

  1. Hiking. I didn’t hike at all last week because I was limiting my driving while waiting for my new tire. So it was a top priority to get out into nature this week. I went for a long hike near Boulder and it was the life-giving fulfillment I needed!
  2. Fun projects. In the midst of continuing to finish painting our house, I have let myself do a few little fun side projects. One of them has been painting a cardboard cat house that I bought for the kitties last Christmas. It has been sitting out in the living room with it’s Christmas theming since December and I decided rather than toss it, that I would make use of a few of the paint samples we decided not to use. So while we are getting a fresh coat on our house, Buzz and Portia are getting a new look for their little playhouse!
  3. This recipe. I finally had a zucchini big enough to harvest this week and I made this Zucchini Butter Pasta recipe from Smitten Kitchen. I added mushrooms because it seemed like the right thing to do. Guys, I make a lot of pasta and I think this is my favorite pasta recipe I’ve ever made. I scaled down the recipe a little bit for just two people, but don’t make that mistake. We would have eaten more if there had been more, it was SO GOOD. I’m stalking two baby zukes on my plant right now because I want to make it again as soon as they are ready!
  4. Happy tired clean dogs. Bama and I met up with a friend at the dog park this week and they ran around like lunatics. And then ran through the little creek and everyone got so muddy. But we came home, took a bath, and snoozed HARD. We don’t get out to the dog park much these days and when we do…it’s hard to get Bama to play with other dogs. So it was really fun to watch her make a friend and get out some wiggles in a social way.
  5. Surprises in the mail. A friend of mine accidentally bought the same puzzle twice and instead of returning the second one, she mailed it to me! It’s always fun to get mail, especially when it isn’t your birthday or a holiday. It makes me want to start sending my friends little surprises at random because it made me smile so much.

Friday Five Things 7/9

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“You will either step forward into growth, or you will step backward into safety.” – Abraham Maslow

Better late than never, right? This has been one of those weeks where I’ve completely lost track of the days, so even though I “knew” today was Friday, I didn’t remember it was Friday until just now… Anyway, on to the good things!

  1. Mozzarella. I’ve been buying a ball of fresh mozzarella and having it in a grilled cheese or some caprese for lunch. It is such a perfect summertime cheese to have on hand! The other day I did a salad with mozzarella, strawberries, avocado, and spinach. Yum!
  2. Looooong hike. I decided to challenge myself earlier this week and I did an 8 mile hike with 1200ft elevation gain! It was tough and hot and tiring, but I finished in less than 4 hours and I felt so great to have accomplished it. My legs and feet were sore that afternoon, but I woke up feeling pretty okay the next couple days. So I think that means I might finally be ready to bag my first 14er after having lived in Colorado for 20+ years!
  3. Cucumber plants. For several years we’ve tried to grow cucumbers with little to no success. This year I changed up the locations for all my plants and the cukes are now on the deck under some partial shade. And they are THRIVING! They aren’t fruiting just yet, but the actual plants are three times as big as we’ve ever gotten them and there are tons of flowers. Here’s hoping we can harvest some without the squirrels ruining everything!
  4. Puzzles. Puzzles were always part of my life growing up. And last March when we were stuck inside puzzles became a regular pastime for me, especially while on long conference calls! Anyway, I’ve kind of been taking a break over the past few months but this week I pulled out a 1,000 piece puzzle that I hadn’t done yet. And I’m hooked again! It is just so meditative and relaxing for me to sit and put in piece after piece. And then I feel so accomplished at the end of it!
  5. House updates. The front of our house is now 90% finished painting! Everything is covered with at least the first coat and there are a few places that will need a second coat/touch up but you can really only see those from up close. It’s like a whole new house from the street! Still need to finish around the sides and the back especially. We are starting to think about what color to paint the front door and have some fun ideas for updates in that area. I’m really glad we decided to do it ourselves, not only do I think we’ve done a pretty good job with the painting, but it’s also has given me more confidence when thinking about other DIY home projects that I could help with or do myself!

Friday Five Things 5/28

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“Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, will all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell.” – William Saroyan

May Book Report will be published mid-next week! I’m almost finished with a couple books that I want to include for May. In other news, we had a pretty productive week around here and I’m feeling really excited about this summer!

  1. Balance (or lack thereof) – I’ve talked a bit on here about different time/energy management techniques I’ve tried. Time blocking by days so different activities happen at different times. Time blocking by week so different activities happen on different days. Trying to match my daily energy highs and lows with different tasks to be more efficient. Etc… What has been working for me best recently is to let go of the idea that each day or week is going to look and feel the same. So I’ve been spending time Sunday evening or Monday morning plotting out my week with daily to-do lists and then each morning planning out my days based on what needs to get done. For example: Mondays are usually a day that I need to finish up some chores, grocery shop, and run other errands to places I avoid on weekends. I also like to get a long hike in on Monday mornings. So I don’t put writing on my to-do list and just focus on getting other stuff off the list for the week. Then I have writing on my lists for Tues-Fri. Another example is that I don’t always work out at the same time every day. For hikes, I like to go earlier in the day when it isn’t too hot. But I prefer late afternoon neighborhood walks and midday for strength exercises. Just another example of how things that are best practice in general might not be best for specific people! My days aren’t all balanced with each other, but overall I feel that I’m working towards a more even existence.
  2. New back deck furniture – Well, it’s just one piece of new furniture but I rearranged everything into a configuration that is making me want to spend more time out back! When we first moved into this house the back deck was literally falling apart, so we knew it needed to be rebuilt. Tyler put in a lot of time and effort to design and build a gorgeous back deck that really extended our living space outdoors. We got some chairs and a table and he put in some built-in benches around a little fire pit, but it just didn’t feel like a place you wanted to spend time. So I made it a priority this summer to utilize the space more and figured out a solution to maximize our space with only purchasing one new item! I moved the dining table over to the benches and it fits perfectly with them as seating. Then I moved the fire pit to where the table was with the leftover chairs and purchased this outdoor couch. We ordered it from Lowe’s on sale but I’m not seeing it on their site anymore. It’s pretty spacious and the armrests can lower to provide even more bench seating if necessary! Since I set it up we’ve come out here almost every evening and I’ve been doing my daily planning and journaling out here. Mission accomplished!
  3. Garden updates – Last week I finally purchased all my little veggies plants and got them into the dirt. Since we have chickens we don’t plant in the ground, everything is in containers or a table height raised bed Tyler build a few years ago. We’ve already had to fashion a cage of sorts to keep the squirrels off the strawberry plant and I’m assuming we’ll do the same for the peppers and tomatoes eventually, but so far so good! We have spinach, kale, zucchini, cucumbers, jalapeños, bell peppers, two kinds of tomatoes, strawberries, mint, sage, basil, and rosemary! I might still get a few more herbs but for now I think we’ve covered the things we eat most in our house. Also, when we were buying the veggies I saw two little red and white columbines on the clearance shelf and bought them for $4 each. They’re in the ground and coming back to strength nicely. Excited about my ever growing flower collection in the front yard.
  4. Hiking – I found a new trail that might be my new favorite! It’s right up next to the mountains but still had a lot of open meadows space with wildflowers. I also like it because it’s a perfect length and incline to really make it a workout for me, but I can finish it in under 2 hours. I hiked it twice this week, once with my dog (Bama) and once alone. And I’m sure I’ll be going back more in the coming months!
  5. Journaling – Since last fall I’ve been journaling pretty consistently every day. Sure I miss a few days here and there, but the point isn’t perfection. I feel like this habit has really paid off this week as I’ve had some not-so-great feelings swimming around in my head. Just articulating what is bothering me and getting it out on paper has been so helpful! I also think, as a writer, that it helps to start every day getting words on paper, no matter what those words are. “Morning pages” are a thing I’ve learned about and fully support!

Friday Five Things 5/14

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“You build your mind, so make it into something you want to live with.” – Marilynne Robinson

Hi friends. As seems to be the norm these days, it was a week for difficult and upsetting news. The escalating conflict between Israelis and Palestinians and the increasingly desperate COVID situation in India make it feel like things are spiraling in a hopeless direction. I watch the local and national news every night, I follow news accounts on Instagram, I check the AP and CNN apps regularly throughout the day, so I am not sticking my head in the sand nor am I advocating for anyone else to ignore what is happening around us. But again, I think it’s important to acknowledge the good alongside the bad; the joy alongside the sorrow. So here’s what brought a smile to my face amongst difficult times this week.

  • Chicken field trip – Earlier this week Tyler texted me around 5:30pm to come out to the front yard. He had let the chickens through the garage into our overgrown side yard and they were having the time of their lives! It was all fresh, damp dirt for them to scratch through and I saw at least three of them catch and slurp up big fat worms like spaghetti. We had to herd them out of the neighbors yard a couple times, but other than that they were perfectly content to stay put and dig away. And it was so fun to watch them have a little field trip!
  • Cucumbers – I’ve been on a cucumber kick recently. Usually they are pretty low on my list of things I’m craving, but I have been making a lot of cucumber salads for lunch. Or slicing them and dipping in Bitchin’ Sauce or Yum Yum Sauce! Soooo good.
  • Getting dressed – After several months of simply changing from “last night’s pajamas” into “tonight’s pajamas” I have finally started to get dressed in real clothing every day. I think it’s mostly due to the fact that I’m getting out more thanks to the vaccine and nicer weather. But I have to admit, it’s nice to pick out an outfit that isn’t the same rotation of sweat pants and t-shirts every day!
  • Babies! – I have several friends who are pregnant right now and, while having kids isn’t the journey I chose for myself, I LOVE seeing my friends become moms!
  • Hanging baskets – Ever since we moved into our current house I have wanted to have beautiful, overflowing hanging baskets of flowers on my front porch. And last year was the first year I was able to keep any potted flowers alive on our west-facing front patio. It gets blistering hot full afternoon sun in the summer and usually my potted plants just wither and die from it. I think it helped that I was home and spent a lot of time out front to keep tabs on how they were doing. I just bought two gorgeous baskets of petunias, lobelias, and some kind of green vine-y thing. I have high hopes for them this summer!