I’ll be honest, I woke up this morning, looked at the news, and cried. This election has been exhausted and I think we were all hoping for a swift and definitive result, even though we’ve been told repeatedly that a long drawn out counting process was the more likely scenario. Like being awake during your own surgery, falling asleep, and then waking up to learn that the surgery is still in progress. So be warned…I wrote this post this morning – it is not following my normal process of writing, re-reading, editing, publishing. So things might be a little raw.

There’s one thing has been bothering me the past few days and I’m assuming it will continue for the foreseeable future. People on social media have been posting well-meaning platitudes about “no matter who wins the election, we just need to be kind to each other and that will fix all our problems!” And the messaging just hasn’t been sitting well with me.

Now, I’ve got no problem with kindness. In fact, I agree that being kind to other people can be life changing for them and for you. However, kindness alone isn’t going to fix systemic racism. It isn’t going to ensure quality health care for our vulnerable populations. Kindness isn’t going to ensure that the LGBTQ+ community has equal rights. So yes, let’s be kind but let’s make sure that definition of kindness includes protest and challenge and voting in each other’s best interests.

I also think that toxic positivity needs to be addressed here. I have a lot more thoughts about this topic that I can explore at a future date, but the idea is that not all positivity is truly positive. It can become toxic when it asks people to ignore their pain in favor of a “just get over it” mentality. And there’s definitely an undercurrent of toxic positivity running through my social media feed for the past several weeks of this election. In addition to the idea that simple kindness can cure all ills, the message is delivered in a way that says you shouldn’t be hurt or frustrated or angry…just be kind to people! It leaves little space for people’s true, authentic and valid feelings.

As we continue through the next few days, I would encourage you to check your privilege when making statements about how people should act or feel as a result of this election. Be kind? Yes, of course, if you have the capacity. But some people may be running on fear, stress, and pain. Give people space to feel their feelings and don’t make them feel less than if they feel differently than you.